Obese Teacher: I'm horizontally challenged!
Girl with camera: I think I'm gonna die. It's showing up in like all my pictures today.
See, I didn't have that liberty, so...
Guy 1: [to Guy 2] You most certainly are a frog.
Girl: [to Guy 2] You're a lady?
Guy 2: I'm a frog lady!
The notes he wants us to take are so bogus it's stupid.
Lemme think, fridge, Sarah... is that right?
No, he gave me a sandwich. He said, "Here"...
...front row seats were only $41. But for this Mayhem concert, lawn tickets are like freakin' $76! That's freakin' expensive!
Girl 1: My dog is amazing and your dog is ugly.
Girl 2: Don't ever say that again.
That's one of the reasons I'm not on YouTube.
1: ...so basically she tricked us.
2: ...go to her funeral?
I can't say you're more than that because the reality is, you're not.
I actually turned off the lights because I was scared!
I've never seen someone look so much like you.
1: Wait, which one's pound?
2: The one that doesn't have the star on it.
And for the grand finale... the epic tale of crowd surfing! I wrote all of this down sitting in front of some guy on a bus. -Maria
I wanted to do it a second time, so I went up to these two big muscular dudes and said, "Hey, can you put me up on the stage?"... [they said]"one, two, three, and you jump." So one dude had one foot and the other guy had the other foot and... one, two, three, and they threw me as hard as they could. I flew over about 20 feet of crowd over the people who were s'posed to catch me, and onto the heads of some, like, unsuspecting people.