Sunday, September 11, 2011

90 Misrepresented Girls

I'm supposedly a go-getter kind of girl… a detail-oriented, always on time person… I wait till the last minute on everything!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

89 Ugly and/or Talented Actors

I'm very good at fake crying. I have to look in the mirror and then I can cry.

88 Rude Little Naïfs

Pregnant Mom: Slow down a little, I'm not climbing up as fast as you.
Daughter: That's because you're pregnant!
Daughter: When I'm pregnant someday, I'm going to climb faster than that.

She sat there with her fork and her finger!

It smelled like something, though, bad.

Girl 1: She's super-pretty. Have you seen her close up?
Girl 2: Yeah, I used to play basketball with her.

Friday, July 9, 2010

87 Reasons to say grace

Very small girl: Thanks, God, for this ketchup. In Jesus' name.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

86 Medium Lies

Girl on phone: If you honestly think she cooks, that's a lie.

Girl: He's not ugly. He's in the middle.

Female voice over bus radio system: When the light changes, you go, okay?

Mother, with sneezing daughter: [daughter sneezes] God bless. [daughter sneezes] God bless. [daughter sneezes] God bless. [daughter sneezes] Okay enough.

[This next one was really cute at the time. Not sure how well it translates to just text. --Maria]
Mom: Mommy's not looking for that kind of shoe, sweetie. Mommy's looking for black flats. A black, flat kind of shoe.
Little girl: What about this one? It's black, and it's flat!

Girl: I can foil like nobody's business.

Female restaurant patron: You had a lot of girls who were interested in you in the northeast. [laughing] And then you married the Wrong Girl.

Girl in breakfast line: Orange juice is like the water of breakfast. You would die without it.

Girl: Ohmygod I'm sweating from laughing so hard!

1: Trumpet. What are you?
2: [inaudible]
1: Well, not You you.

85 pounds of wasted

It's covered in nacho cheese. Don't ask.

Woman in restaurant: I'm sorry, I never complain, but I'm 100 pounds and I should be wasted by now. I don't think there's any vodka in this drink.
Waitress: No?
Woman: No. Could you add a little somethin'?
[Later] Thanks for understanding.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

84: DRUG drugs?

Girl in bathroom: So he's trying to keep me away from Tyler...he told me last night that Tyler was getting into drugs lately. So I was like, drug drugs, or like marijuana? And he was like, drug drugs.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

83 Arguments Counter to Self-Tanner

I don't get why everyone thinks they have to look orange to look nice. You end up looking like a cheese nip.

Man in restaurant: I never liked Joanna. She's just one of those people that, every word out of her mouth, is intended to put you down.

Same man: I know he was going on his ultimate sailing trip around the world, and I called him to do his job, and he said he couldn't, and then he said he could do it, but I had already booked someone else. That is my total knowledge of the matter. ...somewhere in the Cook Islands, he said.

Friday, January 8, 2010

82: Maddie's first sound bite... ever.

At a concert with loud screaming fans and one singer with his bad. This is 4 girls talking.

Girl 1: Wait... umm... why does Nick's voice sound so funny while he's talking!?

Girl 2: Umm... I don't know... maybe hes.... (loud screaming surrounds) stoned?!

Girl 1: Wait... did you just say that he is STONED!!!!?!?

Girl 2: No... I said that maybe he has a cold.

Girl 1: Oh...

The next two girls are talking a few rows over...

Girl 3: and yea... so we were living in China for a while... but we just moved back a little while ago.

Girl 4: so wait... are your two baby girls Chinese-American!?

Girl 3: Nopee... they arent Chinese-American... but i can CERTAINLY tell you that my second daughter was MADE in China.