Girl: Can I cut your hair?
Guy 1: No! Whenever people cut my hair I either end up looking like Star Wars or the little lad who likes berries and cream.
Girl: Weren't you paying attention?
Guy 1: I have ADD. Pardon my ADD.
Guy 2: Every time I go on MySpace she's in love with a different person.
Freshman: Ow! You stepped on my football toe!