Wednesday, July 1, 2009


What? Forgot to pay the gravity bill?

Boy 1: What did you have for breakfast?
Boy 2: You know, chips, pancakes, waffles, some mouthwash, the usual.

I got, like, an F in 3D!

Man: ...but only if it's soured rubber!
Woman: It is!

Woman on Metro-North: And I said, "Chris, I'm gonna come to your house for all my grocery needs!" [chuckle]

Boy: Three out of my four wallets feature unicorns.

It was nondescript. It wasn't bad, it was just nondescript.
We were stunning, weren't we.

That was the funniest darn thing. Not appropriate, but funny.

Cranky Arthur Avenue shopowner: I can't pull a pizza out of my hat. These people think I can pull a pizza out of my hat.