Sunday, November 23, 2008

When I'm 65?

Subtlety is not an option.

Girl on bus: Who are you trick-or-treating with?
13-year-old boy: I'm trick-or-treating with GIRLS!
[Later, explaining]
13YOB: It's like a boys' night out, with girls.

Girl: [in a "blonde" accent] Oh my God, you guys, my birthday is like in three days. And like, I'm getting my prom dress from Nebraska, y'know? It's like... like red, and wrinkled but in a stylish way. But I don't know if I can get it, 'cause it's like $200, and, I just don't know, y'guys...

Math class girl: Oh my God, why do you even do any work in here if you have all these games on the calculator.
Math class boy: Because I wanna go to college.
MCG: That's stupid.
MCB: And get a good job.
MCG: You won't.
MCB: Why?
MCG: You don't know how to.
MCB: You're stupid.

Girl in study hall, talking to a friend: I don't understand how this boy could be cute as f%*^ and boring as hell!

A well-written biography will just light up the world for me.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The square root of 64 is eight...

Guy 1: Do you know the etymology of that word?
Guy 2: What's that?
Guy 1: It's like, why that word became.

It's almost time! I'm almost out of chocolate!

1: ...No?
2: He said it was too big.

1: Do you realize what you're losing?
2: ...superintendent of schools don't care... do away with the position.

Dyed Blonde Girl: So I have [name] sleeping over at my house tonight. You could come over then, but I dunno if you'd want to...

Thursday, November 6, 2008

63 Strangers Hugged

[After three-person group hug]
Girl: It's Hug A Stranger Day!
Boy: He's not a stranger!
Girl: I don't know who he is!

Girl: We're just gonna get like a fry.

Guy 1: Barry Manilow's gonna be on my team.
Guy 2: But that's awesome!

Girl 1: So was she in the box?
Girl 2: ... We stopped by the mirror and she pulled out a clump of her hair.

1: I was good at math when...
2: When it was just numbers.
1: They took me out of the dumb class with all my friends and put me in the smart class with all my enemies.

Boy: That's why he's wearing yellow!
Girl: Everybody always wears blue!

1: I wore my Uggs today. I feel special.
2: It's not even that cold out.
1: I usually wear my flip-flops until the second day after it starts snowing.

Can you feel my presence? 'Cause I'm right there. Do you feel it? I'm right there.