Sunday, September 11, 2011
90 Misrepresented Girls
I'm supposedly a go-getter kind of girl… a detail-oriented, always on time person… I wait till the last minute on everything!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
89 Ugly and/or Talented Actors
I'm very good at fake crying. I have to look in the mirror and then I can cry.
88 Rude Little Naïfs
Pregnant Mom: Slow down a little, I'm not climbing up as fast as you.
Daughter: That's because you're pregnant!
[pause]
Daughter: When I'm pregnant someday, I'm going to climb faster than that.
She sat there with her fork and her finger!
It smelled like something, though, bad.
Girl 1: She's super-pretty. Have you seen her close up?
Girl 2: Yeah, I used to play basketball with her.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
86 Medium Lies
Girl on phone: If you honestly think she cooks, that's a lie.
Girl: He's not ugly. He's in the middle.
Female voice over bus radio system: When the light changes, you go, okay?
Mother, with sneezing daughter: [daughter sneezes] God bless. [daughter sneezes] God bless. [daughter sneezes] God bless. [daughter sneezes] Okay enough.
[This next one was really cute at the time. Not sure how well it translates to just text. --Maria]
Mom: Mommy's not looking for that kind of shoe, sweetie. Mommy's looking for black flats. A black, flat kind of shoe.
Little girl: What about this one? It's black, and it's flat!
Girl: I can foil like nobody's business.
Female restaurant patron: You had a lot of girls who were interested in you in the northeast. [laughing] And then you married the Wrong Girl.
Girl in breakfast line: Orange juice is like the water of breakfast. You would die without it.
Girl: Ohmygod I'm sweating from laughing so hard!
1: Trumpet. What are you?
2: [inaudible]
1: Well, not You you.
85 pounds of wasted
It's covered in nacho cheese. Don't ask.
Woman in restaurant: I'm sorry, I never complain, but I'm 100 pounds and I should be wasted by now. I don't think there's any vodka in this drink.
Waitress: No?
Woman: No. Could you add a little somethin'?
[Later] Thanks for understanding.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
84: DRUG drugs?
Girl in bathroom: So he's trying to keep me away from Tyler...he told me last night that Tyler was getting into drugs lately. So I was like, drug drugs, or like marijuana? And he was like, drug drugs.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
83 Arguments Counter to Self-Tanner
I don't get why everyone thinks they have to look orange to look nice. You end up looking like a cheese nip.
Man in restaurant: I never liked Joanna. She's just one of those people that, every word out of her mouth, is intended to put you down.
Same man: I know he was going on his ultimate sailing trip around the world, and I called him to do his job, and he said he couldn't, and then he said he could do it, but I had already booked someone else. That is my total knowledge of the matter. ...somewhere in the Cook Islands, he said.
Labels:
bus,
choices,
colors,
difficulty,
doubt,
explanation,
food,
friend,
girls,
in public,
night,
not talking about you,
old people,
random,
smart,
story,
subtlety,
teenagers,
usual
Friday, January 8, 2010
82: Maddie's first sound bite... ever.
At a concert with loud screaming fans and one singer with his bad. This is 4 girls talking.
Girl 1: Wait... umm... why does Nick's voice sound so funny while he's talking!?
Girl 2: Umm... I don't know... maybe hes.... (loud screaming surrounds) stoned?!
Girl 1: Wait... did you just say that he is STONED!!!!?!?
Girl 2: No... I said that maybe he has a cold.
Girl 1: Oh...
The next two girls are talking a few rows over...
Girl 3: and yea... so we were living in China for a while... but we just moved back a little while ago.
Girl 4: so wait... are your two baby girls Chinese-American!?
Girl 3: Nopee... they arent Chinese-American... but i can CERTAINLY tell you that my second daughter was MADE in China.
Girl 1: Wait... umm... why does Nick's voice sound so funny while he's talking!?
Girl 2: Umm... I don't know... maybe hes.... (loud screaming surrounds) stoned?!
Girl 1: Wait... did you just say that he is STONED!!!!?!?
Girl 2: No... I said that maybe he has a cold.
Girl 1: Oh...
The next two girls are talking a few rows over...
Girl 3: and yea... so we were living in China for a while... but we just moved back a little while ago.
Girl 4: so wait... are your two baby girls Chinese-American!?
Girl 3: Nopee... they arent Chinese-American... but i can CERTAINLY tell you that my second daughter was MADE in China.
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