89 Ugly and/or Talented Actors

I'm very good at fake crying. I have to look in the mirror and then I can cry.

78 Not-so-subtle subtleties

Is that what you call tact? You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.

I'm looking for somebody but I dunno who.

Music Teacher: Was that hard?

Girl 1: Yeah! Everything looks the same when you're hungry! Everything looks like Do.

Girl 2: That was a corny joke.

Girl 1: I'm serious!

Girl: ...all you had to do was keep your mouth shut. Can you imagine? [audio lost] And there were like twenty suicides.

Girl: Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!

74 Dead playwrights who must find another bathroom location

Girl: P.S., the cupcakes I made...

Girl: Shakespeare, don't pee on anything!

Kid: My dad has to wear high heels...

Guy: How did that happen?
Girl, on her phone: They're in a jail.