Girl, talking on cell phone: Do you have tweezers at your house? [listens] 'Cause I gotta pluck my eyebrows!
Boy: [sings] All my friends say of course it's gonna get better.
Girl: Oh my god! That song was stuck in my head when I was walking away.
Girl: Who fails all their tests? [Her name] does!
Girl 1: ...Scotch tape.
Girl 2: Scotch tape?
Girl 3: Why would you use that?
Girl 1: My boyfriend...
Guy 1: Do you want to go to the library?
Guy 2: I don't wanna go to the library 'cause we have to be quiet and I don't feel like being quiet.
Guy, pointing out places on girl's face: ... patch of redness here, a patch of redness here, and a patch of redness here.
Girl: She's smart, she's just not a good teacher!
Teacher: I thought you liked her! Oh! Then I'm not going to be in on your running joke on her!
Student 1: How did you do?
Student 2: Awesome! It was the easiest test of life!
Showing posts with label parking lot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parking lot. Show all posts
Friday, January 25, 2008
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Price of dog:$38. Its ability to eat lightbulbs: Priceless.
So I'm guessing you won't be wanting this peanut butter and jelly sandwich!
I swear, if her mom wasn't like my best friend, I wouldn't be friends with her!
Every time I go to [town name], I run over a rabbit... I go over a bump and I'm like (makes sad face).
Katelyn, that was you laughing? I thought that was a dog barking!
Exasperated Boy, observing two people horsing around loudly: Can you kill each other in silence? Can you turn it down to foghorn level?!
One of the two girls horsing around: You don't have to yell!
Peppy Girl: I'm really stoked!
Girl happening to walk by: Should I go get my fleece?
GHTWB's friend: Yeah.
GHTWB: Yeah, let's go.
Yo, every day we come in with a different story!
Are you going to get a tattoo when you're older?
Regain control of your limbs, man!
Wait, your little dog or your big one?
The little one.
Wait, the little one? But your little one's like this big! {holds fingers apart about three inches} How could it possibly eat a light bulb?
I swear, if her mom wasn't like my best friend, I wouldn't be friends with her!
Every time I go to [town name], I run over a rabbit... I go over a bump and I'm like (makes sad face).
Katelyn, that was you laughing? I thought that was a dog barking!
Exasperated Boy, observing two people horsing around loudly: Can you kill each other in silence? Can you turn it down to foghorn level?!
One of the two girls horsing around: You don't have to yell!
Peppy Girl: I'm really stoked!
Girl happening to walk by: Should I go get my fleece?
GHTWB's friend: Yeah.
GHTWB: Yeah, let's go.
Yo, every day we come in with a different story!
Are you going to get a tattoo when you're older?
Regain control of your limbs, man!
Wait, your little dog or your big one?
The little one.
Wait, the little one? But your little one's like this big! {holds fingers apart about three inches} How could it possibly eat a light bulb?
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
23 (Not the movie with Jim Carrey)
I voted you best smile if it makes you feel any better.
I kind of kicked it closer to where it was supposed to be.
I've never been there. I bought a free membership, but I've never been there.
He's so adorable!
...the biggest chin in the world!
I stole that girl's mirror. I feel special.
I kind of kicked it closer to where it was supposed to be.
I've never been there. I bought a free membership, but I've never been there.
He's so adorable!
...the biggest chin in the world!
I stole that girl's mirror. I feel special.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
20/20 Vision
Do you think this looks good?
That looks so flattering, I can't even begin to tell you!
You just have to watch what you're saying around her...
{Pause while person on the other end is talking}
She'll be nice in your face, but don't tell her something that you don't want everyone to know.
He's getting really creepy...
{Pause}
I just want to be friends with him. I don't want to be more than friends with any of those characters!
Girl: They were like the cutest shoes I had ever seen in my entire LIFE! But when I tried them on, they were like two sizes too small. And that was the only size they had!
Friend: *makes sympathetic moaning noises* Don't you hate when they have the wrong sizes?
Girl: Yeah, it's so hard to find things sometimes!
Peppy Girl 1: Guess what happened to me this morning?
Peppy Girl 2: What?
PG1: I tripped down the staircase!
PG2: (runs over to hug PG1) I'm so proud of you!
Boy in Math Class: *hits head on TV* OW! Someone should really turn that off.
Woman, to friend: I almost got into a fight with someone in the parking lot!
Passerby, muttering under their breath: Good for you.
I was in a game and I got in trouble for not putting in my mouthguard. I got yelled at.
Who yelled at you?
The lady!
*blank stare*
You know, the lady in the yellow shirt.
The ref?
Oh yeah, the ref!
Aah, I see a victory!
You took my "Happy Wednesday" paper!
Teacher: [Girl's name]. Stop. That's disgusting.
Girl: But we're talking about toes!
Teacher: You have a foot fetish.
Girl: [Boy name] has a foot fetish.
Girl 2: I love feet...
Next year {for Halloween}, I'm gonna be something from Greek mythology.
But we always party on Fridays!
He has the same facial expression every time I see him.
Old school Power Rangers! Now THAT'S the {stuff} right there!
Yeah, none of this new {stuff}!
Yes, I was born in {area of China}, and my son was born here.
*shocked* Mom, I thought you said I was born in New Jersey!
Do you do restaurants?
No, I'll do a movie or a play, but I don't eat. When I eat a lot, I want to go to sleep. And we all have reputations to maintain!
Sour cream is sogood!
(Yes, dear reader, I intened for that to be one word.)
But I don't WAnna die!
(Note: When reading this out loud, you must make your voice high, squeaky, and cracked on the word wanna.)
I lived in the same apartment building as John Lennon and Yoko Ono, for the same amount of years, by the way, and I was fortunate enough to share a wall with John Lennon. One of the walls in my apartment was the back wall of his music studio, and I used to hear this: *opening chords of "Imagine"*
That looks so flattering, I can't even begin to tell you!
You just have to watch what you're saying around her...
{Pause while person on the other end is talking}
She'll be nice in your face, but don't tell her something that you don't want everyone to know.
He's getting really creepy...
{Pause}
I just want to be friends with him. I don't want to be more than friends with any of those characters!
Girl: They were like the cutest shoes I had ever seen in my entire LIFE! But when I tried them on, they were like two sizes too small. And that was the only size they had!
Friend: *makes sympathetic moaning noises* Don't you hate when they have the wrong sizes?
Girl: Yeah, it's so hard to find things sometimes!
Peppy Girl 1: Guess what happened to me this morning?
Peppy Girl 2: What?
PG1: I tripped down the staircase!
PG2: (runs over to hug PG1) I'm so proud of you!
Boy in Math Class: *hits head on TV* OW! Someone should really turn that off.
Woman, to friend: I almost got into a fight with someone in the parking lot!
Passerby, muttering under their breath: Good for you.
I was in a game and I got in trouble for not putting in my mouthguard. I got yelled at.
Who yelled at you?
The lady!
*blank stare*
You know, the lady in the yellow shirt.
The ref?
Oh yeah, the ref!
Aah, I see a victory!
You took my "Happy Wednesday" paper!
Teacher: [Girl's name]. Stop. That's disgusting.
Girl: But we're talking about toes!
Teacher: You have a foot fetish.
Girl: [Boy name] has a foot fetish.
Girl 2: I love feet...
Next year {for Halloween}, I'm gonna be something from Greek mythology.
But we always party on Fridays!
He has the same facial expression every time I see him.
Old school Power Rangers! Now THAT'S the {stuff} right there!
Yeah, none of this new {stuff}!
Yes, I was born in {area of China}, and my son was born here.
*shocked* Mom, I thought you said I was born in New Jersey!
Do you do restaurants?
No, I'll do a movie or a play, but I don't eat. When I eat a lot, I want to go to sleep. And we all have reputations to maintain!
Sour cream is sogood!
(Yes, dear reader, I intened for that to be one word.)
But I don't WAnna die!
(Note: When reading this out loud, you must make your voice high, squeaky, and cracked on the word wanna.)
I lived in the same apartment building as John Lennon and Yoko Ono, for the same amount of years, by the way, and I was fortunate enough to share a wall with John Lennon. One of the walls in my apartment was the back wall of his music studio, and I used to hear this: *opening chords of "Imagine"*
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Seventeen is a magazine...
...it was a loofah dog...
Welcome to the (Festival)!
How dare you attack me!
I think if I have to say one more time that this jewelery is made out of wood I'm going to-
Welcome to the (Festival)!
How dare you attack me!
I think if I have to say one more time that this jewelery is made out of wood I'm going to-
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Dieci!
Alexander should come with me. Hey, Alexander! Come here!
Why do we have to go to Willie's?
(sorry if we spelled your name wrong, Willie.)
*splash* Ew, look, this water is dirty! It has, like, fish poop in it!
Ew! Spiders in the water!!!
EW!!! SPIDERS!!!
For the record, they were water bugs, not spiders. And those boys should have realized that when you go ANYwhere near them, the bugs go away. Sissies... :D
Luke, you suck! You're like the worst basketball player I've ever seen!
*chanting in the background* Digdigdigdigdigdigdigdig!!!
Did you get the jackpot?
No, she did.
*words to the effect of "I've never gotten the jackpot before!*
We heard a LOT of funny sound bites on our vacation, but my personal number 1 most favorite is the following:
DRAG QUEEN: *beeps* I can't stop now! *zoom of a Vespa*
(Pause.)
RANDOM TOURIST LADY: I almost got hit by a drag queen!
I thought that would be a good bumper sticker: I got hit by a drag queen on a Vespa in P-town, Mass.
Why do we have to go to Willie's?
(sorry if we spelled your name wrong, Willie.)
*splash* Ew, look, this water is dirty! It has, like, fish poop in it!
Ew! Spiders in the water!!!
EW!!! SPIDERS!!!
For the record, they were water bugs, not spiders. And those boys should have realized that when you go ANYwhere near them, the bugs go away. Sissies... :D
Luke, you suck! You're like the worst basketball player I've ever seen!
*chanting in the background* Digdigdigdigdigdigdigdig!!!
Did you get the jackpot?
No, she did.
*words to the effect of "I've never gotten the jackpot before!*
We heard a LOT of funny sound bites on our vacation, but my personal number 1 most favorite is the following:
DRAG QUEEN: *beeps* I can't stop now! *zoom of a Vespa*
(Pause.)
RANDOM TOURIST LADY: I almost got hit by a drag queen!
I thought that would be a good bumper sticker: I got hit by a drag queen on a Vespa in P-town, Mass.
Friday, August 10, 2007
OCHO!
"Are You going to charge me or let me pass the magic rainbow village?"
heard this one in a parking lot in canada.
heard this one in a parking lot in canada.
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