Price of dog:$38. Its ability to eat lightbulbs: Priceless.

So I'm guessing you won't be wanting this peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

I swear, if her mom wasn't like my best friend, I wouldn't be friends with her!

Every time I go to [town name], I run over a rabbit... I go over a bump and I'm like (makes sad face).

Katelyn, that was you laughing? I thought that was a dog barking!

Exasperated Boy, observing two people horsing around loudly: Can you kill each other in silence? Can you turn it down to foghorn level?!
One of the two girls horsing around: You don't have to yell!

Peppy Girl: I'm really stoked!
Girl happening to walk by: Should I go get my fleece?
GHTWB's friend: Yeah.
GHTWB: Yeah, let's go.

Yo, every day we come in with a different story!

Are you going to get a tattoo when you're older?

Regain control of your limbs, man!

Wait, your little dog or your big one?
The little one.
Wait, the little one? But your little one's like this big! {holds fingers apart about three inches} How could it possibly eat a light bulb?

34th of November

Dude shouting at other dude, eventually getting his attention: Hammer! Hammer! Hammer! Bring your guitar!

If they had cameras in there, I would've been arrested a long time ago.

Guy 1: Dude! I haven't seen you in like friggin' forever!
Guy 2: I was just saying that!
Guy 1: I love you, man.
Guy 2: Is that a new haircut?
Guy 1: Yeah.
Guy 2: Looks fresh.