FORTY-TWO SECONDS are better than first helpings. havent you heard?

"SO THEN I SAID THATS MY POODLE THATS MY LITTLE SISTER"


Girl one: "Why are you on the floor asleep?"
Girl Dos: "So Martin Luther's wife will not be offended"

"Latin reminds me of harry potter. NOX. FACIO. right?!"
"yes then later you could have carpe diem, harry potter tatooed on your pelvis later."


"I SAID I WANT BRUNCH. GOD #@%$@!"


"I can't eat seeds."

34th of November

Dude shouting at other dude, eventually getting his attention: Hammer! Hammer! Hammer! Bring your guitar!

If they had cameras in there, I would've been arrested a long time ago.

Guy 1: Dude! I haven't seen you in like friggin' forever!
Guy 2: I was just saying that!
Guy 1: I love you, man.
Guy 2: Is that a new haircut?
Guy 1: Yeah.
Guy 2: Looks fresh.