When I'm 65?

Subtlety is not an option.

Girl on bus: Who are you trick-or-treating with?
13-year-old boy: I'm trick-or-treating with GIRLS!
[Later, explaining]
13YOB: It's like a boys' night out, with girls.

Girl: [in a "blonde" accent] Oh my God, you guys, my birthday is like in three days. And like, I'm getting my prom dress from Nebraska, y'know? It's like... like red, and wrinkled but in a stylish way. But I don't know if I can get it, 'cause it's like $200, and, I just don't know, y'guys...

Math class girl: Oh my God, why do you even do any work in here if you have all these games on the calculator.
Math class boy: Because I wanna go to college.
MCG: That's stupid.
MCB: And get a good job.
MCG: You won't.
MCB: Why?
MCG: You don't know how to.
MCB: You're stupid.

Girl in study hall, talking to a friend: I don't understand how this boy could be cute as f%*^ and boring as hell!

A well-written biography will just light up the world for me.

61 Possible Relatives

Guy 1: Am I related to you?
Guy 2: Yeah, you probably is; you just don't know it!

Changing Vocal Cords Lad: Shut up! It's not greed, it's hunger!

Senior Guy: Hey everyone, Toga Tuesday! Everyone wear a toga on Tuesday. See if they take it off us all.

Girl: We learned that in like sixth grade.
CVCL: Do you honestly think I remember that, with my bad memory and short attention span?