67 Ambiguous Sentences

My mom just got pregnant when she had her baby.

She really wants to know.
She'll find out some day. She'll be quiet.

Ooh, I'm so scared of [name]... big ol' box of [name].

First of all you're drooling... and it's metal... it takes a good half hour... and then another good half hour.

Guy 1: But I can't tell you the story!
Guy 2: Just tell me the story or I'll hurt you.
Guy 1: No! It involves you! I can't tell you the story!
[Pause.]
Guy 1: [Name] knows the story.
Guy 2: Tell me the story!

1: He pushed the button for the stop sign instead of for the yellow flasher.
2: [inaudible]
1: And Bill didn't have his glasses today...

Mythical beings live inside my water bottle.

1: This one only has two strings.
2: That's what I said.
1: No, I thought you said, "Nah, never mind."

66 Knights of the Round Table

[Before Spamalot begins]
Dad: The password is "the knights who say ni!"
Son: I'm typing it in!
Dad: [musing] How do you spell "ni"? N... I...

[On the train]
Man: ... that and the fact that you're not blood related?
Woman: And I didn't grow up in the South.
Man: Yeah.

Man: (It's like the) days of the Amish when you just have to memorize phone numbers.