Twenty-Two

Before we show you any more hilarious stuff we've overheard, I would just like to thank everybody for visiting. It's really exciting to get hits from all over the world, and people have left some really nice comments about the blog. Chances are, if I found it funny, you will too, so leave a comment and tell me what you thought was funny.

Well, enough of my yapping. On with the show! ~Maria

i wish i was cheese munchies. i want to see if people would go for me.

They know I'll protect them from the evil ducks of the universe.

[Italicized swear word] Richard Nixon!

Trix Yogurt exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point FISH exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point.

21 (BLACKJACK!)

Ha... you smell like bacon.
Ha... you smell like cheese.

It's a boy... wearing pink... in the sunshine... and he's emo?!

Why'd you take my crackers?! You buggin'! There's like ten minutes left and you're gonna take my crackers? I stopped eating them when you told me to.
Put them away.
This is away- where the [heck] you want me to put them- in my bag where they're all gonna fall out?!

20/20 Vision

Do you think this looks good?
That looks so flattering, I can't even begin to tell you!

You just have to watch what you're saying around her...
{Pause while person on the other end is talking}
She'll be nice in your face, but don't tell her something that you don't want everyone to know.

He's getting really creepy...
{Pause}
I just want to be friends with him. I don't want to be more than friends with any of those characters!

Girl: They were like the cutest shoes I had ever seen in my entire LIFE! But when I tried them on, they were like two sizes too small. And that was the only size they had!
Friend: *makes sympathetic moaning noises* Don't you hate when they have the wrong sizes?
Girl: Yeah, it's so hard to find things sometimes!

Peppy Girl 1: Guess what happened to me this morning?
Peppy Girl 2: What?
PG1: I tripped down the staircase!
PG2: (runs over to hug PG1) I'm so proud of you!

Boy in Math Class: *hits head on TV* OW! Someone should really turn that off.

Woman, to friend: I almost got into a fight with someone in the parking lot!
Passerby, muttering under their breath: Good for you.

I was in a game and I got in trouble for not putting in my mouthguard. I got yelled at.
Who yelled at you?
The lady!
*blank stare*
You know, the lady in the yellow shirt.
The ref?
Oh yeah, the ref!

Aah, I see a victory!

You took my "Happy Wednesday" paper!

Teacher: [Girl's name]. Stop. That's disgusting.
Girl: But we're talking about toes!
Teacher: You have a foot fetish.
Girl: [Boy name] has a foot fetish.
Girl 2: I love feet...

Next year {for Halloween}, I'm gonna be something from Greek mythology.

But we always party on Fridays!

He has the same facial expression every time I see him.

Old school Power Rangers! Now THAT'S the {stuff} right there!
Yeah, none of this new {stuff}!

Yes, I was born in {area of China}, and my son was born here.
*shocked* Mom, I thought you said I was born in New Jersey!

Do you do restaurants?
No, I'll do a movie or a play, but I don't eat. When I eat a lot, I want to go to sleep. And we all have reputations to maintain!

Sour cream is sogood!
(Yes, dear reader, I intened for that to be one word.)

But I don't WAnna die!
(Note: When reading this out loud, you must make your voice high, squeaky, and cracked on the word wanna.)

I lived in the same apartment building as John Lennon and Yoko Ono, for the same amount of years, by the way, and I was fortunate enough to share a wall with John Lennon. One of the walls in my apartment was the back wall of his music studio, and I used to hear this: *opening chords of "Imagine"*

19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19 19

Why are they building so many banks around here? It's not like anyone has any more money.

...and I hid behind his desk and jumped out and I said "they're after my gnome!"

Get out of my hallway!
It's not your hallway.
This is my hallway, you're just passing through.

She said you could do it that way, and yet-

It's not polite to punch or hit your guests.

Eighteen is not spelled Eightteen.

It's easier if you know your colors!

...that yo-yo I stole?

Hey Austin, [NAME] might switch into our Australian class.
Note: This one struck me as funny because I didn't even know our high school had an Australian class. Weird. -Maria

[Girl 1] She acts like Batman at practice.
[Girl 2] Really?
[Girl 1] Yeah, she does this. (Stretches out arms)

...Jessica, over there by the Snapple machine.
Wait, what? Jesus? Did you say Jesus?
[laughter]
Oh yeah, sure. "I saw Jesus." "Where?" "By the Snapple machine."
...Jesus loves Snapple.

Seventeen is a magazine...

...it was a loofah dog...

Welcome to the (Festival)!
How dare you attack me!

I think if I have to say one more time that this jewelery is made out of wood I'm going to-

Seize (the French number 16, people!)

Did you have Mrs. [name deleted]? I'm supposed to go up to random people and ask what they thought of her (for homework).
She's the best teacher in the school. Like, when people do bad in her class, they come back and apologize.
Wow.
Yeah, it's that kind of class. She's literally like the best teacher in the school. {more of conversation, to the effect of "she's really nice"} If you fail her class, you're a loser.
{Sometime later} I'm just in band for the competitions.
Oh, so you like beating people?
(nodding) Basically.

[Random Boy at Back of School Bus] Party at my house on Tuesday!
[Bus Driver] Party on Tuesday?
[Boy]: Everybody parties on Tuesday!

[boy 1] I had a dream about you last night.
[boy 2] Ew, why did you have a dream about him?
[teacher] Why don't you draw me a picture of it?
{Later into study hall}
[boy 1] Mr. [name deleted], I drew the picture.
{General laughing, sighing, groaning, etc.}
[boy 1] I'm the one with the muscles, and you're the one with the bald head.
[teacher] Why are you wearing a skirt?
[boy 2 and company] AH HA HA HA HA HA!
[boy 1] No, it's SHORTS! I just messed up-
[teacher] Oh, it's a skort.

It appears that whatever we wish for will come true!